Am I experiencing more than just voices again?

In a previous post I spoke about voices and hallucinations. I mentioned I only hear voices. Lately they are so strong, if I ignore them I get headaches. It’s like a group of people are shouting inside my head. Worst thing is I can tell who’s voice belongs to who. But people know this about me. I still get the look from people. You know the look; raised eyebrow and that what the fuck you talking about stare.
The other night when I went to bed; turned off my lights and just lay in bed. It started happening again. When I was younger I would see things in the dark. Lights falling down like rain. I never understood it, I thought everyone could see them. As I got older I started seeing faces, animal faces, actual human shapes moving towards me. When it first happened I was frightened. I kept thinking can they hurt me? Am I crazy because I see them? And just because of that thought, I have never told people I can sometimes see things in the dark. But now they have started again. Clearer, faster, a lil more scarier. I’ve had one walk towards my bed and just stand there. I have had some of the faces lunge at me and make me jump back. Lately I have been closing my eyes hoping it will go away. But when my eyes are shut I can get light bolts flashing so I open my eyes again.
I don’t know how long this will last again. I don’t even know what it means. Are they hallucinations? If you look up what hallucinations are it says hearing or seeing things that don’t exist. I’m not a medical expert so I won’t say I have hallucinations. I just say I see things. I haven’t told my family this, I want to protect them from it as there is already enough going on in the family. I know I need to speak about it. But I also get worried people won’t believe me.
Has anyone else with bpd suffer with this? Voices, seeing things etc.
I just have to keep reminding myself someone will believe me. And you only need one person who cares for you to believe and you won’t have to constantly listen to the voices telling you; you are crazy.
If anyone ever feels they need someone to talk to. Please know my inbox is always open.

LJ xoxo

One thought on “Am I experiencing more than just voices again?

  1. Definitely not alone…
    I hear voices all the time. And see things a lot. People, shadows, animals, shapes, cameras, insects…I could go on. People being the main one. Especially one bloke who has been following me for years. It used to scare me, and sometimes still does. But most of the time now if I take medication properly hes quiet enough or not around so much that I can just ignore him. Also have massive issues alongside it with paranoia…constantly feeling like I’m being watched or followed, or someone has broken into my flat etc.
    You should try talking to someone about it. And don’t give up and let them tell you it’s not happening or your making it up etc. I’ve had CPN and psychiatrists call me a liar or telling me I’m just making it up for attention (who does that?…) but I did find a couple that truly believed me and wanted to help and listen.
    Unfortunately with the MH services now you have to be persistent! There are some that are useless, but also some amazing people work within the service.
    Keep fighting, get the help and treatment you deserve xx


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